On Friday night I went out with a woman, possibly a new friend. I had an enjoyable evening chatting with her. She had asked me if I wrote poetry, and I said I did in the past but no longer do. I stopped writing poetry a long time ago when I became no longer inspired. Even with the writing I do now, it flows from me but never in a frenzied, passionate way. However, after chatting with this woman for the evening, I felt inspired to write poetry again, and so I wrote her a poem and sent it to her via email.

Immediately after clicking send, I started having second thoughts. I always get nervous when people read my writing, and because I'm more of a nonfiction writer and less of a creative writer, I have no idea what she will think of my poem. I haven't heard from her, but my fear is that the content of the poem scared her off and I will no longer see her. It is very unfortunate, because she is an amazing woman.

I was considering posting the poem on my blog and even doing a reading of it in a podcast, but it is for her and so I won't unless I hear back from her and she says it is okay.

I'm realizing that I'm a terrible self-monitor, and I never know how I'm going to be perceived by others. I probably scared this woman off and will never see her again, but at the time I wrote the poem I thought it was the best thing I had ever written and wanted to share it with her. I guess I'm just a dope.